The Boomerang Effect: Creating Better Social Experiences

During my junior year in college, I went through a depression that only worsened by the way people were responding to my melancholy personality. Despite my basic cheerful disposition, this was a rough patch in my life, and I could see things weren’t getting any better.  

Typically I would cross the street when I saw someone I knew, because I did not have the energy to deal with the upbeat chatter often times involved in random meetings and greetings. 

I knew I had to stop my avoidance patterns and face reality, so I “faked” a friendly greeting upon seeing an acquaintance I had not seen in quite a while. Instead of what had been awkward exchanges back when I was behaving “naturally depressed,” I was treated “normally,” not unlike those times back when I was feeling naturally happy and having fun. I remember walking away from that exchange feeling a bit taller along with some extra pep in my step. 

I also learned a big life lesson:  What you put out there, you get back in kind.

While it is true people may not always respond in kind, I still enjoy the choice of living in a way independent of how others are behaving, because it’s rarely about me. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “What you think of me is none of my business.” 

The important thing is that I started living intentionally and mindfully. I would ask myself, “What might be this person’s experience of self because of how I’m acting or simply looking while in their presence?” Over time this way of life and living became effortless, relaxed, and easy. The typical response I get? Easy, effortless, and enjoyable social interactions.